my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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