This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
