you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
