i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
