U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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