A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
