i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
