Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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