Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
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