does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
