And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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