all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
