If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
