thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
