I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
