I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
