he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
