I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
