Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
