Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
