we have pet lesbian snakes
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
