yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Semen is not good for contacts.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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