he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
