There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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