I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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