smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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