Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
