You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
