I heard we made out
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
