I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
