i already hear my dad disowning me
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
