he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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