There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
