"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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