I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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