even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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