I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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