The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
