his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
