I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
