i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
