Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
