the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
