he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
