pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
