is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
