Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
