I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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