Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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