I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
